Monday, November 10, 2008

The Oceans Will Be the Death of Us

Sharks haven't needed to evolve for thousands of years. Why would they bother? They're nearly perfect killing machines.

And now it turns out that they're even more of a menace than we had originally thought. Female sharks can conceive babies without the help of a male (word of the day: parthenogenesis!). They're not asexual, since they have males and females, but if you leave a female alone for too long, she can knock herself up.

Scientists have seen it happen. Twice.

Sure, they're trying to downplay it, saying things like "It may just be an occasional mistake that sometimes occurs when eggs are left unfertilized," but I know the truth. Sharks are a pervasive threat that cannot be stopped!

I'm going to start doubling the amount of shark cartilage I take each day*. It's them or us, people!

*I'm not actually taking any shark cartilage these days, so my total consumption will still be zero.

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Angelika said...

OH NO! I'm glad you brought this to my attention!!!

Stanley! said...

Indeed! The peril is greater than we had ever imagined! The only way we can keep the slavering hordes of the deep at bay is with CONSTANT VIGILANCE.

Thanks for commenting!

Angelika said...

Look for your High Five from me HERE!

The header image is adapted from a photo taken by Bill McChesney and used under a creative commons license.
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